coolscar:

talkin to ur crush like

lesbianathogwarts:

totallyfubar:

nightstargalaxy:

totallyfubar:

My girlfriend is on a cruise so while she’s gone I’m gonna cut the sleeves off of all my shirts

why

She’s pretty much 85% of my impulse control

From now on I’m going to evaluate otps by who goes on the cruise and who cuts the sleeves off of all of their shirts

dwiref:

lianabrooks:

bryarly:

sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

New plan

I knew girls in high school who casually kept water bottles filled with Smirnoff at their desks and drank them during class in order to survive the American school system. 

Two ways of living

stylishirish:

stylishirish:

“hey can we go in your room" 
“no" 
“why not" 

y’all thought this was a joke but this is an actual picture of my bedroom circa 2012 and i am not proud of it

teenytigress:

I asked my brother for a glass of water and he brought me back a cup of ice and said “wait”

heavenboundghost:

when did “lmao” become shorthand or w/e for “i’m fucking suffering”

dreamerofderse:

when teachers touch your shoulder

tangarang:

a bunch of kids are playing out side my house and they have a really intense story going on and i just heard a 6 year old say, panting, in pretend agony “I should have killed you when i had the chance”